Politics, Money and Weed

Dear Uncle Minkoil,

Your reply was indeed sobering. It is hard to argue with the fact that the Enemy is bring more and more over to his house every day; but so are we! Patients are dividing and choosing sides more than ever we are gaining ground I think, especially this past election cycle. Humans were saying and doing some of the most awesome things, with barely any encouragement needed from what I understand, they were practically calling the candidates after Our Father Himself! The groaning below must have been a sight to behold and surely would have pleased Our Father.

And oh the amount of money spent! Simply awesome to see all that money passing from hand to hand in order to spread that hatred about one another, on television, and mailings and of course social media. Just think if they had spent that money on providing services to those we had already crushed, surely we would lose a lot of ground. And yes I know that not all those we have crushed are in Our Fathers hand yet, just like not all those who attend those horrible churches are lost to us yet, we must fight on.

 I myself rather enjoyed the debates, the way they take things so seriously, as if any of it really matters. I tell you if we play this just right we will yet have another Civil War, I may even ask for a transfer to Texas, the North East is nice, but I think the climate in Texas might suit me better, both in temperature and temperament.

I grow ever impatient to discover my assignment, I have done enough “on hand” observations I think. In the meantime Sawsling and I have been trying to work his patient up to smoking marijuana, it should be a piece of cake, especially in light of the recent election results making it “legal”. The grown-up humans have practically done the work for us by endorsing its use, especially because this patient’s parent hasn’t even bothered to talk to him about drugs because they believe that’s the “schools job”. Amazing!

Affectionately,

Hashtag

Awaiting Assignment

My Dear Uncle Minkoil,

What a world you have sent me into, it is almost like I have never left home. All the training and preparation have scarcely been needed it would seem, I am as comfortable as a termite in wood. There is so much to see I want to devour it all, like a kid in a candy store as they say. I see so many we have in our pocket walking down the street, or driving in their cars, blissfully unaware of my presence, or the others like us that are all around them. In fact I saw cousin Sawsling just this morning near the school bus stop convincing his patient that it would be really for the best if he should take that cigarette the older child had offered him in order to “fit in”. It’s an old but effective bit.

I can’t wait to meet my first patient, I will endeavor to make you ever so proud, and he or she will be like clay in my hands. You and grandfather Screwtape have taught me well, and we have made so many advances since the utter failure of Wormwood.

I can’t wait to get my patient into social media I really feel I have a knack for it, the subtle idolatry of it all. And of course the need for approval of one’s status, and my personal favorite the anticipatory wait of that approval and disappointment when it never comes. No better way than to bring self-doubt and self-loathing I say, which we all know dilutes the confidence given by the Enemy.

Part of me is longing for a teenage patient, maybe one without a father, it would be such a plum assignment, but also part of me wishes for a tougher task. Perhaps someone who already believes in the enemy, or is attending that horrible house they call church. I can see my training to be effective in that as well; for I have watched a few “services” let out of that horrible place and then watched as the same fellows who had just been celebrating the Enemy, scream the Enemies’ name in anger when one cut the other one off in the parking lot. Whoevers patient that is, is doing a superior job indeed, allowing his patient to feel as though they are being good by going to the place they worship, but then leaving it all at the door on the way out. Fantastic!

When the Intelligence department has decided whom shall be my patient I will be ready; whomever your desire it is for me to attend to I shall try to do my best to turn them to our Father.

Affectionately,

Nephew Hashtag

P.S. You should have told me about this television show called “Oprah”, hilarious!

Inspiration

This Blog is meant to be a tribute, a modernized version if you will, to C.S. Lewis's "Screwtape Letters". It is in no way affiliated with, endorsed, or approved by, the Lewis estate. I am writing this purely for enjoyment and in now way wish to profit from it, not that I write that well to begin with.

Regardless I hope you will enjoy my take on what has been inspired by "The Screwtape Letters" which I recommend you go out and purchase in order to get a sense of what I am attempting to write here.